Defeat

I have train karate since I was 8 years old. Since the beginning I show rally good ability for thi sport. Of course when I was little karate was more a hobby than a responsibility. I love to train but not because I want to be the best, but because I really love evrithing related with the sport, I love the fact of playing, and compiting in controll fights. At my child years if I loose or wing was never my purpose of doing it. It was also never a reason for me filling defeat.

Wile I grew up my interest in karate starts changing. Especially because I start involving more into competition. I became part of the national team when I was 13 years old. The division in which I compete was 15-17 but because it was kata team they allow us to compete. My team was made up for my sister another girl name Pamela and me. We spend so much time together that Pamela became part of my family she even stay all weekend at my home, and went to every family reunion we have.

The first time we compete was here in Guatemala in the Central America competition name CODICDER. For our surprise, and eventhough we were the youngest ones, we wing first place. I still remember that moment as if it was just yesterday. All the effort has worth the deal. I don't think I have never expiriens a feeling like that never after. The next year we make even a bigger effort and we claclassified for the Central America and the carebean competition. We her the 2nd place there.

We three spend most of our time together. We also travel everywhere together, and spend wonderful experiences I'm sure none of us will ever forget. For me even training in a weekend or losing going to the movies with my friends didn't matter because I knew I will have a great time with them. The team split up because we all have differen Goals in life. But I Conteneu training and after a while this big chance came to my life.

For the first time I have the opportunity of compet all by myself. Even I have a good chance of wining I ruin it up. Because now I have another interest and probably many other important things to do in my life I didn't dedicate the time this big opportunity in my life deserve. I do start training a littlebit more, but never as when I train with the team. I give more importance to getting out and to other events in my life that were not as sure to be a success experience as this was.

When I get to the competition which was in El Salvador, I didn't put anything on me to get what I want. And in the day of the competition I was pretending to train all I haven't during the time I was suppose to train. Since the moment I get in the place of the competition I start warming up and practicing all the mistakes I have in my katas. But karate needs more than just a moment of effort. It requires a constant training because it involves your body fitness, your muscles strength and your mind concentration.

In the first round my opponent was not so good so I easily wing. I was missing just tow rounds. The next one was a little harder than the last one but still I was superior to the other opponent. Now I was in the finals. Even I know I was pretty capable of wining this round I also knew I was not ready for this big challenge. When I went in the area my nerves were at its fullest point. I give everithing I have on me. I do feel I have done it right but in karate the feeling of wining is not enough.

The other girl gets inside the area and gives everything on her too. She made a kata that was of a higher level than mine. Still I haven't lost the hope of wining, even I was conscious we both have the same chances of wining. The desition time came. I lose. Even though I have loose before, I have never felt as defeat as I did at that time. I try to make up many excuses but none of them were valid to me because I knew I haven't given what I was supposed to.

That day, after the competition finish and I start thinking about what happen I do cry. It was not because I have loose, but it was because I haven't act as a winner. I just thought noone will be able to wing me and I act as a looser. It was hard for me to overcome that defeat, and even I do wing second place it was not what I was suppose to get. Defeat sometimes is not actually the act of losing, but is the act of letting you turn into a defeated person.